Tinder: Yes or No?

I still find myself very confused and frustrated with online dating. I discussed the problems of this in a previous post in April last year:  Internet dating or Internet failing (http://obsessedkim-butterflymind.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/internet-dating-or-internet-failing.html)

More recently I find I am a particularly unsatisfied consumer when it comes to one specific app: Tinder.

Its description in the App Store, is very broad and general 'Tinder is the fun way to connect with new and interesting people around you' therefore not labelling itself as a dating app per se. The last line reads 'it's a new way to express yourself and share with friends' Again very non-committal but,  I don't remember choosing my 'friends' based on how they look.

For anyone who hasn't seen the delights that Tinder has to offer, you are given pictures of people in your area and swipe left for no and right for yes. If you both like each other then you are matched and can chat on the app. I believe this puts Tinder in the same bracket as dating websites like Plenty Of Fish and Okcupid as they also offer this feature, are free to join and you can message people as much as you like.

Other dating websites like Match.com and Eharmony, require payment to join and promote a more lengthily matching system; whereby the potential for finding long lasting relationships is believed to be greater, as the participants have put a financial investment into their dating life.

All dating websites have different stigmas and reputations. Some say Tinder is the heterosexual version of Grinder - a homosexual dating app especially designed to match people in their immediate location for sexual encounters. Therefore if this belief is true, Tinder would not be the best option for those wanting a relationship.

In my personal experience I have not found Tinder to provide a successful platform to strike up conversations of length. I find the layout of a website with messages promotes more conversation  than a chat stream which is more likely to provide one word responses. Therefore I think subconsciously I have never had the faith in Tinder to preserve long enough to actually meet someone. Yet, friends of mine have not had any trouble with Tinder and have managed to fill whole weekends meeting different guys for actual dates.

I wonder if there is something I am doing wrong. It is pretty binary out there in the Tinder dating world. After the usual, 'Where are you from?' 'What do you do?' questions are out the way, the next is usually, 'What are you here for?' 'Do you want some fun?'  Now I'm not suggesting that all men on tinder are only looking for sex, however from my experience it seems the general view of men in their mid twenties, is that they do not time for a girlfriend,or cannot be bothered with the actual dating game. Are we now so spoilt by the immediacy of internet dating that we are too lazy to even go on a date with a potential match?

One thing I do like about tinder is that it provides a way to be brutal and not apologise for it. If someone only wants sex they will say so and you can decline or accept their offer and there's no hard feelings. I have always preferred this 'rip off the plaster' approach when it comes to dating and Tinder is no exception.  Why waste time? There's plenty more fish in the sea, and they are all a swipe away... If they can be bothered to swim to you!